


Malay Mo, Tayo

by rathawish



Category: Tempt (Thailand Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: Filipino
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28380060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rathawish/pseuds/rathawish
Summary: "Masaya naman ako kapag kausap at kasama siya eh. Hindi ba puwedeng sapat na ‘yon?"hindi naman kasi dapat lalalim, pero madidiktahan mo nga ba ang pusong huwag magmahal? kahit na alam mong susugal ka sa walang patutunguhan?
Relationships: Title Kirati Puangmalee/Gun Napat Na Ranong
Kudos: 5





	1. 04.

Pagkatapos ng gig, hinding-hindi naman maiiwasan ang inuman, o baka hindi talaga nila kayang tanggihan. Inabot na sila nang madaling araw, siyempre minsan lang din naman. 

Nang maisakay ni Title lahat ng instruments nila sa kotse niya, bumalik siya sa tapat ng resto bar na tinugtugan nila kanina, para balikan sila Plan na hindi na yata kayang maglakad pa.

"Plan umayos ka nga! Isa!" Sigaw ni Perth mula sa labas ng bar na pinuntahan nila kanina, nakainom na rin kasi si Plan, sobra. 

"Gago, ano? Dito ka matutulog? Hahayaan talaga kita riyan." Dagdag pa ni Perth pero hindi pa rin naman niya binibitawan ang pinakamatalik na kaibigan.

".... Perth." 

"Ano?!" 

"Ang panget mo." Saad ni Plan at tumayo ng diretso, tumawa naman si Title at Gun sa inaakto ng lider nila, wala, lumalabas lang talaga pagkapalabiro ni Plan kapag lasing. 

"Ikaw na bahala riyan, hahatid ko na si Gun." Napatingin naman si Gun sa kasama. 

"Huwag na." Napakamot siya sa batok, bago marinig ang mahinang tawa ni Title. 

"Tara na." Saad niya at inakbayan si Gun. 

"Hoy! Iiwan niyo talaga ako rito sa bonak na 'to?! Hoy!" Sigaw ni Perth, kaya nakatanggap siya ng batok mula kay Plan. 

"Siraulo, hindi ako lasing, tara na!" Sabi ni Plan at nauna nang naglakad.

"Oh bobo hindi 'yan kotse ko." Napailing naman si Perth, buti na lang mahaba litid ng pasensya niya. 

-

Pagkaayos ni Gun sa kotse niya tinitigan lang siya ni Title. Parang bigla namang nagkaroon ng question mark si ulo ni Gun.

"Anong problema mo?"

"Uuwi ka ba?" Malumanay na tanong ni Title, alam niya kasi lahat nang nangyayari sa buhay niya, nila. Para na kasi talaga silang magkakapatid, kaya problema ng isa, problema ng lahat. 

"..." Napatingin na lang si Gun mula sa bintana, hanggang sa paandarin ni Title ang kotse.

"Ikaw ba?" tanong niya pabalik.  
"Headquarters." natatawang sagot ni Title.  
"Doon na rin." 

-

Hindi na niya ginising ni Gun- o sa madaling salita, mahimbing na talaga tulog niya, kaya dahan-dahan niya na lang inilagay ang mga kamay ni Gun sa leeg niya, at kinuha lahat ng bigat nito sa likod niya. 

Naramdaman niya na lang na ibinibigay na ni Gun lahat ng bigat niya, napatawa naman si Title. May amats na eh. Hindi gaanong uminom si Title kasi alam na niyang sa kanya lahat ng responsibilidad, hindi pwedeng uuwi sila nang lahat sila lasing, kasi baka hindi na talaga sila makauwi nang buhay. Buti na nga lang hindi rin gaanong uminom si Perth kasi alam niyang magmamaneho siya. 

Drink responsibly, ika nga nila.

Dahan-dahan niyang inihiga si Gun sa kwarto nito, pero bigla namang bumangon ang isa. 

"Oh? Susuka ka ba?" Tanong ni Title. Umiling si Gun at tumitig lang kay Title.

"Dito ka matulog?" Aya niya, napayakap naman si Gun sa mga tuhod niya. There are so much on his plate right now na kapag nagpatuloy ang gabi na mag-isa siya, iiyak lang siya magdamag.

"Magbibihis lang ako, hintayin mo ako." Saad ni Title at patakbong lumipat ng kwarto. Hindi naman ganoon kalaki ang headquarters nilang apat, sakto lang, sila lang ni Gun talaga ang magkaiba ng kwarto, habang si Plan at Perth magkasama sa isa, hindi rin naman kasi sila madalas matulog doon, kasi mas gusto talaga nila sa sari-sarili nilang bahay. 

Tambayan lang nila 'to kapag gusto nila mag-jam, magrecord ng bagong kanta, covers, magpractice. O kapag may okasyon ang isa sa kanila, sa headquarters sila nagkikita-kita.

Pagdating ni Title sa kwarto ni Gun, naabutan niyang nakabihis na rin ito, at bumalik sa pagkakaupo sa kama habang hawak ang telepono. 

"Ano nangyari?" Tanong ni Title, pero hindi sumagot ang isa, buntong hininga lang ang natanggap niya.

"Wala. Tulog na tayo." Sabi ni Gun at itinabi ang telepono sa side table st humiga na, napahawak naman si Title sa bewang niya, at tumingin sa nakahiga g si Gun, hindi naman niya mapipilit na magkwento yung isa, kaya tumabi na lang din siya rito.

Tinignan niya lang ang likod ni Gun, he was waiting for that sudden shake, for that shudder na magsasabing umiiyak ito pero wala. 

"Psst, Gun." Tawag niya kaya napaikot naman si Gun at humarap sa kanya.

"Ano?" 

"Ayaw mo talaga magkwento?" Pilit ni Title, kaya tinitigan niya lang si Title at napatawa nang mahina. 

"Pangit mo pala 'pag bisngay." Saad ni Gun at tumayo nang bahagya bago sumandal sa headboard. Tumawa lang si Title sa sinabi nito. 

"Nahahawa ka na sa kakasabi ni Plan nang pangit." Saad din ni Title. 

"Totoo naman eh." Sabi rin ni Gun at tumitig lang kay Title, and the other did the same.

For a couple of minutes tinitigan lang nila ang isa't isa. There was supposedly, should no meaning. But why Gun can feel that butterflies on his stomach, that he never felt before.  
Hindi niya masabi kung alak lang ba 'yon o ano, pero parang mas lalo silang nagwala nang magtanong si Title.

"Can I kiss you?" Sabi niya habang nakatingin sa mga labi ni Gun, ang inviting, that Title can't remove his stare at those, parang automatic na lang na napatango si Gun, at ipinikit ang mga mata. 

Title can stop himself, pero may consent eh, hindi niya rin naman alam kung bakit bigla na lang gan‘on, parang nahatak siya sa kintab nang mga labi nito kahit gabi na. 

Mas lalong dumami yung bilang ng paru-paro sa tiyan ni Gun nang dumampi ang malalambot na labi ni Title sa kanya. Hindi naman iyon nagtagal, saglit lang, parang walang nangyari. Smack lang kumbaga. 

Matapos non, nagtama muli ang mga mata nila, saka natawa. 

"Matulog na." Sabi ni Title at humiga na nang maayos, ganoon rin ang ginawa ni Gun.

Nang makaayos siya, saka lang nagsink in sa kanya lahat. 

Gago. Ano 'yun? Bakit nangyari 'yun?

Magkaibigan sila eh. Bakit siya pumayag? Mali. Bakit magtanong si Title in the first place. 

Napahawak siya sa labi nuya at lumingon siya at sumilip mula sa balikat niya. 

Putangina. 

Ang daming tanong na nabubuo sa utak niya, pero ni isa ron, hindi nila alam kung anong sagot o kung mayroon ba.


	2. 13.

Gun took a bus on his way to their headquarters. Medyo may kalayuan sa lugar nila. Napagisip-isip din siya noon, na kung mabibigyan nang pagkakataon, gugustuhin niya na rin talagang tumira sa headquarters nila. Wala naman nagsasabing bawal, kasi nga parang bahay na nilang apat ‘yun. 

He sighed, halos buong araw wala siyang ibang iniisip kung hindi yung halik na ‘yun. 

Hindi kasi puwedeng panaginip lang ‘yun. Ang linaw, pero if Title doesn't want to talk about it, then he'll dismissed that too. Baka maging dahilan pa na magkaroon ng gap sa kanilang dalawa, or worse, baka sa kanilang apat. 

He shakes his head, saka naalala na naman kung ano yung ginawa ni Plan. 

"Babatukan talaga kita." He screamed silently habang nakatingin lang sa labas. Wala talaga kasi siyang balak sabihin sa tropa, sa totoo lang, kailan lang din nalaman ni Plan kaya todo alaga ang nakakatanda sa kanya. 

Nasa headquarters sila no‘n, writing music, dalawa lang sila ni Plan, hindi naman talaga siya ganon kabilis atakihin, kapag sobrang pagod lang, o sinusumpong. Naisipan nilang maglinis, likas na matigas ulo ni Gun, ayon, nagpagod, hanggang bigla na lang hindi na siya makahinga.   
Sa ganoong posisyon eh, muntik pa siyang mabatukan ni Plan kasi ang reckless. Hindi nag-iingat, at sa thought na bakit hindi niya sinabi sa kanila. 

Open silang lahat eh, lalo na kapag may problema, nandiyan sila para sa isa‘t isa. Dalawang taon, dalawang taon na silang magkakasama. Pero nagsimula lang na makipagsapalaran sa mga gigs— mag-iisang taon na. And that is what has been bugging Gun for the past months. 

Hindi okay sa magulang niya, ang gusto kasi ng Mama niya para sa kanya, ituloy niya ang natapos pero hindi eh, hindi talaga ‘yon yung calling. Hindi ramdam ni Gun maupo sa opisina maghapon, mas gusto niya na kahit nakatayo maghapon, kahit magkakalyo ang daliri sa kakakalabit ng string ng bass niya, okay lang doon siya masaya eh. Yun yung gusto niya. 

There's a big gap that happened with his family nang piliin niya ang musika. Nagkaroon siya ng limit sa paglabas. Hindi na siya halos pinapansin sa loob ng bahay. Hindi naman siya yung panganay, pero kasi, pareho sila ng kaso ni Rhun, nakakatanda niyang kapatid, he was supposed to be a Pediatrician, pero ayun, napunta rin sa pagiging DJ, para sa magulang niya, sumunod lang siya sa disappointment. Sayang yung pag-aaral. Halos lahat ng salitang dapat sa kuya niya, siya sumasalo. 

Huminto ang bus stop malapit sa headquarters, and he was so shock when he saw Title waiting for him from there. Agad siyang tumayo at dali-daling bumaba at sinalubong si Title. Hinampas niya ang sling bag sa balikat nito.

"Aray!" Title winced, hindi niya napansin, he was so focused on his phone na hindi na niya namalayang nandoon na pala si Gun.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" Saad ni Gun. Nagsimula na sila maglakad.

"Kinukulit ako ni Perth, sunduin ka raw." Gun sighed, ito yung ayaw niya eh, yung makakaabala siya dahil lang sa sakit niya. This is another reason why that case should've left unsaid. 

"Ano tingin niyo sa‘kin, bata? Kaya ko sarili ko." Gun rolled his eyes. Nagsusungit na naman ano pa nga ba. Napatawa naman si Title at hinabol ang medyo nauuna ng si Gun. Inakbayan niya and slightly head-locked the other.

"Ano ba, shuta ka!" Sigaw ni Gun habang hinahampas pa ang braso ni Title. Kung si Plan at Perth ang magbestfriend, sa kaso nila, sila rin yung pinakaclose, kapag kasi nagkakagaguhan yung dalawa, sila yung nag-uusap at hinahayaan na lang sila, taga-tawa lang. They are the type of person who talks seriously kasi, kaya ayon same vibe. Biglang nagclick. 

Bumukas ang pinto at sinalubong sila ni Perth.   
"Akin na bag mo, kuya Gun!" Sabi nito at inagaw pa ang bag.

"Gago? May asthma lang ako pero ‘di ako baldado!" Sigaw ni Gun kaya napatawa na lang sila.   
"Eh ‘di huwag! Arte mo, minsan na nga lang maging mabait!" Sigaw ni Perth pabalik.  
"Ako pa niloko mo? May kapalit ‘yan." Doon na napahagalpak nang tawa si Title habang yung isa naman ay napa-pout na lang.   
"Panget mo."   
"Kuya!" 

—

"Ano gagawin natin, spirit of the glass? Ang seryoso naman!" Saad ni Perth nang makaupo sa tabi ni Title at Plan, ang tahimik kasi nung tatlo, nakapabilog pa. 

"Oo tapos papaalisin natin ‘yung masamang espiritu rito, pangalan Perth." Sabi ni Plan at umirap pa, na ginaya naman ni Perth. He even repeated what the older said in a mocking way.

"Gun..." Una ni Plan.  
"Plan. Kung ano man ‘tong binabalak mo ayaw ko." Sabi agad ni Gun, alam niya na eh, hindi na siya papagalawin.  
"Hindi naman kasi maiiwasan na mag-alala kami. Siyempre paano kapag may nangyari ulit, lagot kami kay Tita, lalo..." Sabi ni Plan. Naintindihan naman niya, hindi na nga ulit nakatapak yung tatlo sa bahay nila, dadagdagan pa ba? 

"Plan... guys... Kaya ko. Oo sige hindi magsisigalaw, pero please, huwag niyo ako irestrict sa gusto ko gawin- ganoon na nga sa bahay, pati ba naman dito hindi ko maeenjoy? 'di ba? I'll take care of myself, hindi ko kayo aabalahin." Sagot niya naman.

"Hindi ka abala." Sabi ni Title, napalingon naman siya rito. Tangina, napakagaling magsalita. Ang galing magpahulog. 

Iniiwas ni Gun ang tingin at tumingin kay Plan. 

"Please?" Sabi niya and held the other's hand. Napabuntong hininga naman si Plan at tumango, Gun smiled- the genuine one. 

‘Kayo talaga nakakaintindi sa‘kin nang sobra.’


	3. 20.

Gun spent the whole night thinking what happened the past 24 hours, nawala bigla yung antok niya. Sa maikling panahon, ang dami na agad nangyayaring hindi niya kayang i-process. Sobrang bilis. Isa pang hindi niya maintindihan is the way Title changes his treatment towards him. He touches his lips one more time and stared at the bright stars on his window.

"What if..." He stop midway, and shakes the thought of it. Hindi siya puwedeng magconclude agad, because he'll just end up hurting himself once again. 

Two years ago. Gun went for an audition para maging official band ng school. Tutugtog every events.   
Kilala na si Plan noon na taga-organize, music club kasi talaga ang kadalasang nakatoka kapag ganoon, at that time isa si Plan sa mga sumusuri sa lahat nang nag-o-audition. 

He was tapping his feet on the cemented floor of the auditorium, non-stop. Ang daming tao, ang daming nanonood. Pano kung pumalpak siya? Pano kapag biglang maputol string ng bass niya in the middle of his performance? 

"Gusto mo?" A guys approached him making the questions on his head bursts like a bubble, the guy offerred him a bottle of water, he shyly smiled at tinanggap ‘to. The said guy sat beside him. Narinig niya naman itong mahinang napatawa. 

"Huwag ka kabahan." Sabi niya, kaya sinubukan niyang pigilan ang mga binti, but unfortunately he can't, sobrang kabado niya to the point na pakiramdam niya masusuka na siya anytime.

"Stranger." Sabi nito nilingon niya naman. The other guy, consciously held his hand. 

"A-anong ginagawa mo." Gun stated, hindi tanong.   
Hindi rin naman sumagot yung lalaki, bagkos may nilagay siya sa palad ni Gun.

"Lucky charm ko ‘yan, huwag mo iwawala. May nagsabi kasi sa‘kin na kapag ito ginamit mo, bigla na lang mawawala kaba mo." 

A pick. A yellow one.

"Pero..." He was about to say something but he stared at the pick, and read the engraved letters on it instead. 

"carpe diem?" Gun asked, saka lumingon ulit sa lalaki. 

"Yep! That means, make the most of the present time and give little thought to the future. Gawin mo lang lahat ng makakaya mo ngayong audition, huwag mong iisipin kung matatanggap ka ba o hindi, thats doesn't matter basta mag-eenjoy ka." The other guy said.  
"Title nga pala." he added and smiled.

"Gun." He whispered.   
"Sige una na ko, hindi dito pila ko eh, pinabili lang ako ng tubig." Sabi ni Title at isinabit ulit ang gitara sa balikat. "Dapat makikita kita ulit tapos kabanda na kita! Joke. Nice to meet you, Gun. Carpe Diem!" Sabi niyo bago tumakbo paalis.

"Wait!" Sigaw ni Gun pero hindi na niya nahabol ng tingin. He then stared at the guitar pick on his palm once again.

"I play bass, sira." He smiled. Hindi niya naman kasi talaga magagamit, but he can when he used it for his acoustic one. He keep it inside his pocket. Bigla na lang he was so eager to play on that stage. He smiled. ‘Thanks, Title.’

—

Kinuha muli ni Gun ang telepono at nilabas ang pick na nilagay niya sa loob ng phone case niya. He stared at it, Hinaplos niya gamit ang hinlalaki ang nakasulat dito.

"Carpe Diem." mahinang sambit niya hindi niya ‘to ginamit in the span of two years, takot na maputol o di kaya's mabura ang nakasulat doon. 

Napatawa siya nang mahina. 

"Kaya ko lang pala magpanggap na wala na, pero it didn't fade, Tle. Gusto pa rin yata talaga kita." Binalik niya rin agad ang pick sa loob ng phone case, for the last time, he stared at the stars outside bago siya tuluyang nagpalamon sa antok, guess he'll sleep again with a heavy heart.


	4. 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Hehe ✨

Mabilis na lumipas ang mga oras, Gun was all prepared and ready, choosing the guitar he will use for tonight, picking from blue or matte black... But he chose the black one, it suits his outfit anyway. 

May mahinang katok siyang narinig. Himala. His family had the guts to check on him today. Binaba niya ang gitara at dumiretso sa pinto.

"Po..." He was ready to give to whoever which knock on his door a frown, but he was welcomed by the brightest smile of Title instead. Tinaasan pa siya ng kilay nito. 

"Pano?" Unang tanong ni Gun.   
"Malakas pa rin naman siguro ako kay Tita?" Title said, at kumindat pa, napangiti naman si Gun dahil do‘n.   
"Pasok ka muna." Gun's smile became wider. Dumiretso naman si Title sa kama ni Gun.

Title roamed his eyes, walang pinagbago, the pikachu stuff toys are still aligned and in order like what he last seen it months ago. He smiled. 

"You really love pikachu no?"   
"Huwag mo na ako asarin, akala mo siya hindi." Gun rolled his eyes and put all of the important things in his bag.   
"I love pandas, but I don't collect." Title smugly smiled.   
"Ewan ko sa‘yo, tara na?" Isinabit ni Gun ang gitara sa balikat, saka sinunod na isunot ang sling bag. 

"Mamaya. Iidlip muna ako." Title said, saka kunwari'y pumikit. 

"Alas nuwebe na po, malalagot tayo kay Plan tayo na riyan." Gun then held Title's hand at pilit na itinayo ang binata, pero halatang nang-aasar si Title at binigatan ang sarili. 

"Title ano baaaa!" literal na humaba ang pagsambit ni Gun sa mga katagang iyon, pano ba naman, mabigat na ang nasa balikat, magpapabebe pa ‘tong kasama niya.  
Mahina niyang pinalo ang binti nito, saka pinabayaan. 

"Magcocommute na ’ko, bahala ka riyan." Naunang lumabas ng pinto si Gun, dali-dali namang tumakbo si Title palabas at sumunod kay Gun, hindi na niya naabutan pa ang nanay ng nakatatanda kaya hindi na siya nagkaroon pa ng tyansa na makapagpaalam. 

"Ops! Dito ka kamahalan." Title then opens the car door, napailing na lang si Gun at sumakay sa kotse nito.

—

They pick the songs for almost two hours, practice for hours too, batuhan ng ideas between breaks, kitang-kita yung teamwork, to make everything perfect and clean. Hindi naman ganoon kahirap, sanayan na lang din talaga. And everything goes smoothly once you put your heart and passion on it. They really love what they are doing. 

"Tell me if you're tired." Bulong ni Title kay Gun, nagpakawala namang ng buntong hininga si Gun at tinignan nang masama ang kaharap.

"Bakit?"

"Sabi ko diba, let me enjoy things, please. Isipin niyo wala akong asthma." Pinitik naman ni Title ang noo niya, making him to winced in pain. 

"Title, shuta ka!" Gun shouted, pinagpapalo niya si Title, todo sangga naman ang isa mga mabibigat na hampas ng nakatatanda.

"Oh tama na! Masakit, aray!" Title shouted, half crying, half laughing. Nang hindi pa rin tumitigil si Gun hinawakan na niya ang mga kamay nito, para pigilan siyang makahampas pa.

"Tama na..." natatawang saad ni Title. Nang akala niya kumalma na si Gun, binatawan na niya ito, pero nakatanggap pa rin siya nang isang hampas sa balikat.  
Napahawak si Title sa bandang napuruhan, at tiningnan si Gun.   
"Deserve mo, gago." Saka siya pumunta ulit sa puwesto niya kanina at tinuloy ang pagpapamilyar sa tono.

—

Pagkapark nila ng mga kotse nila sa Jess & Pat's, agad na sinilip ni Gun ang karatula na may listahan ng mga tutugtog. 

"Tle! Tle!" Humawak si Gun sa sleeves ng t-shirt ni Title habang ang mata'y nasa labas pa rin.  
"Oh?" Agad namang tumingin si Title sa kung saan ang tingin ng kasama niya, parang bata namang nakangiti si Gun at binaling ang atensyon kay Title.

"The Ridleys!" Gun shouted, making Title to smile too, marami kasi silang mga paboritong banda, once they discovered one, sasabihin sa lahat hanggang sa maging paborito na lang din nila.

Pagkapasok nila, punuan na, lagi naman, dumiredto agad si Plan sa may-ari ng bar, siya naman ang maraming connections kapag ganito. Sa kanya lahat ng tawag, lahat ng invitations. While Gun, he immediately looks for any The Ridleys' member. He was such a fan, sobrang poetic kasi ng kanta, kapag napapakinggan mo, parang ang sarap magmahal na lang bigla.

"Fix yourselves, next tayo." Plan almost shouted sa ingay ng lugar, wala namang alak dito pero para pa ring nakainom ang karamihan, sabi nga sa motto ng Jess and Pat's, "It's nice to hold a beer every gig, but you still can enjoy without it." Pinaupo na muna sila sa designated seats nila, free foods and drinks already serve. Gun smiled, ito ang gusto ni Perth, naalala niya na naman kung gaano kaburaot ang kaibigan ‘pag dating sa ganito. 

"Tahimik mo, okay ka lang?" Biglang sulpot ni Title sa tabi niya, napairap na naman siya. Kakasabi lang niya, he doesn't need to be checked from time to time. Para naman siyang bata. 

Tumango na lang tuloy siya bago maupo, dahan-dahan niyang ibinaba ang gitara sa tabi, and sips on the coffee that's in front of him. Always the best.

Ilang minuto pa, nakita na niya si Plan na sumisenyas sa kanila, agad niyang kinalabit ang dalawa and they immediately stands up and brings out their guitar from its bag. They jogged towards Plan and when they heard the thank you's and claps of the crowd, agad na tumakbo si Plan sa stage.

"Hi!" Plan shyly smiled, may ibang nagsigawan kasi kilala na sila sa lugar, may ilan namang pumalakpak lang.

"Long time no see! Thank you nga pala Jess and Pat's for inviting us here again." He laughs, habang palapit naman sila sa stage may iilang sigaw pa silang narinig na ‘I love you, Plan!’ sa crowd, napatawa si Gun habang tinitignan si Perth na napapailing, ipagmamalaki na naman kasi ni Plan ‘yun sa kanila. 

When Title walks towards the stand mic, Gun just stared at the broad back of the said man. Sobrang guwapo niya lang talaga tignan habang may nakasabit sa balikat niyang gitara, hawak ang mic— at mas lalo kapag kumakanta. He shakes his head, and adjust his own instrument instead, nang magkasenyasan na, nagkatanguan silang mga nasa likod bago nagsimula si Plan, and that's how their long night starts, them, playing with their dearest instruments, jumping with the music, with the crowd, with Title's angelic voice. Gun smiled to himself. Kinikilig siya, slight. 

After almost an hour bumaba na sila sa maliit na stage at bumalik sa dating puwesto nila. Si Perth na nagrereklamo na‘t sinunggaban na kaagad ang nakahain. Gun is really anticipating for The Ridleys to perform, he keeps on tilting his head from side to side. 

"Kanina ka pa hindi mapakali." Saad ni Plan na nasa tabi niya, habang sumusubo ng fries.   
"Hinahanap ko The Ridleys." natatawang sambit ni Gun at kumuha rin ng fries.  
"Baka last? Para romantic." Taas kilay na sabi ni Plan.   
"Plan!" Sigaw naman ni Perth kahit na magkalapit lang naman sila. "Ano?!" Inis na sagot ni Plan.  
"Kanina ka pa tinitignan nung barista." Sabi ni Perth, tinignan niya pa nang nakakaloko ang nakatatanda.  
"Alam mo ikaw maissue ka eh, kumain ka na nga lang." Saad ni Plan at sinungalngal si Perth ng hawak na fries.  
"‘To naman! Hindi mabiro! Tanda mo na dapat ‘pag ganyan pinapatulan mo na!" Dagdag ni Perth, hindi na nakapagtimpi si Plan kaya sinakal na ng palabiro si Perth hanggang ito na lang sumuko na lang. 

Gun just laugh at the two being like a kid again, binaling naman niya ang tingin kay Title na busy sa telepono. He stared at the features of the guy in front of him. His tan skin is glowing with the dancing lights. Funny how pleasing to the eyes the way his forehead creased. 

"Gun! Ayan na hinahanap mo!" Hindi na niya napansin pa si Plan sa sinabi nito, he can't take his eyes off of Title. Si Title ang nag-angat ng tingin at sinalubong agad ang lalim ng titig ni Gun. The sound of the strings being flickered filled his ears, ang ganda pakinggan, hindi umiwas si Title kaya hinayaan lang nila ang isa't isa na magpalunod sa lalim ng tingin nila.

"What I'm about to say will take the kind of courage used to  
Cut a wire from a bomb. Oh-oh  
The kinds of things that you will hear, will resemble  
A bottle of wine fermented too long." 

Napatawa si Gun at umiwas ng tingin, he shifted his eyes to the stage and there they was. The Ridleys. Funny how he is anticipating for Aphrodite to come first for him to hear, live, but he heard Maybe in this kind of situation he is in.

"My mouth is dry, I'm up in the sky  
My stomach's starting to dance, oh-oh  
Before I die, I have to try  
I have to take this chance."

He then again, shifted his gaze, and saw Title still looking at him; intently. They both laugh with themselves. Para kasi silang tanga na nagpapasahan ng tingin.

"But oh, there's a risk that you'd go away  
We'd lose the friendship we're enjoying right now.  
But there might also be regret if we throw away  
The more-than-friendship we'd be missing somehow."

Pucha. Sa isip ni Gun, there was a chance that he'd lose the friendship, that's right. Kaya dati pa lang kinalimutan niya na di ba? But all of the sudden, the thought of completely forgetting the feelings, became unclear. Parang ayaw na niya pigilan. Kasi parang mayroon siyang hahabulin. 

"So...  
I was thinking maybe later you would wanna go out?  
We could walk around the oval as usual, asking what life is about  
Maybe I'd tell you that the couple years we've spent together touched my life to the core  
Maybe I'd tell you that I love you, and I want to love you more."

Title laughs and so he is too. Natatawa sila sa hindi malamang dahilan, Gun then throws the piece of french fries to Title, nagulat naman ang isa, pero hindi bumawi, magkakalat lang sila pag nagkataon. They move their bodies with the mellow sound of the instrumental. Kahit nakaupo lang he can actually feel the hype within him.

"Tell me how to get to you  
Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell what you want me to do  
And if you're listening and thinking "Is this song about me?"  
Maybe maybe maybe maybe"

Sumabay si Gun sa kanta, using his phone as a microphone. Tinawanan siya ni Title but the other is just looking at his sillyness. Hindi nagtagal sumabay na rin siya sa pagkanta.

"You are a work of art  
I'm captivated by the things that you do  
Though I'd be jealous of a man who tries to win your heart  
My goal is that he'd envy me too."

They sang, together.

"So...  
I was thinking maybe later you would wanna go out?  
We could walk, and talk, and travel, read,  
and watch, and figure out what life is about  
Maybe I'd tell you that the couple years  
We've spent together proved our friendship true." 

Pagkanta nila habang nakatingin sa isa't isa.  
Feel na feel naman ni Gun ang musika. Nakakahawa, even Perth and Plan is singing with them. The whole crowd even. Ang catchy naman kasi, ang sarap sabayan.

"Maybe I'd tell you that I love you, and maybe it's time that you knew  
I know for certain that I love you."

Tumingin si Title kila Plan na nakapikit pa habang dinadama ang kanta. Pero si Gun, hindi niya iniwas ang tingin kay Title. Kanina pa, he was too obvious by doing this, but he care no less. He just want to stare at the beautiful man in front of him. 

"and I hope you love me too." He sang out loud. Binaba niya ang telepono at ngumiti nang maliit. He excused himself and went out of the bar. All this time, the feelings didn't stop, because the strong feeling just became bigger. Lumalim lang. And this is what he is scared of, to fall harder.

"Gun!" Napapikit siya. Title putangina naman. He calmed himself bago hinarap ito.

"Uy! Bakit ka sumunod?" Gun smiled awkwardly. 

Title just smiled at him kahit malayo ang pagitan nila, nararamdaman niya kung paano bumilis ang tibok ng puso niya. The distance between them made it any harder for him. He wants to cry, to scream, by how Title made him feel things he never felt before. Bakit ganito? Maybe because Title was his first. The first one who make his heart this full, so so full that it feels like bursting, he's contented. 

Una siya.

"Tara." Title jogged on his way closer, Gun felt that warm hand touches his, hindi niya namalayan nagpapadala na pala siya sa hatak ni Title.  
"Saan mo na naman ba ako dadalhin?" He asked pero wala nang natanggap na sagot. It's just them running— sa malinis na daan, sa ilalim ng buwan at bituin. Gun stared at their hands, and smiled. Baka nga, baka may hahabulin siya.


	5. 38

Gun sighed. Plan was right. Ilang araw na nga bang ganoon? Title will send him home after their practices and hangouts, or the other will pick him up without even telling him prior. Title will even hold his waist as he walks, full of gentleness- he's thinking if this can be a starting point of flirting but it wasn't- hindi naman niya puwedeng pangunahan.

Gun sits up from his bed and stared at his phone. Was it a good choice to ask Title right now? Or not? He bit his lower lip as he thinks. He was enjoying the boyfriend type Title was doing as of the moment. Ayaw niyang mawala yung pakiramdam, the feeling of how was it like to be loved, because he can damn feel it. Kapag tumitingin siya sa mga mata ni Title, alam niyang mayroon— pero baka hindi kasi sigurado. Mahirap din naman magdesisyon.

He looks down on his phone once agaid and turns it on, looking at his lockscreen- it's him and Title, a mirror selfie Title posted in his IG story before. He sighed. Scared how this feeling can be more deep as how deep and screwed he was in right now. Is that even possible to fall over and over again? He inhaled, as he can feel the tears pricking his eyes, yung pamilyar na init ng luhang nagbabadyang tumulo. 

Niyakap niya ang mga tuhod sa mga naiisip, putting his chin on top of his knees as he think things up again and again.

Nakakatakot. Nakakabahala. 

Mahal niya na yata. 

Doon na siya napahagulgol. Hindi niya alam na ganito pala yung pakiramdam, akala niya kapag nagmahal siya sa unang pagkakataon, masaya. He never thought of crying because he found out he is in love.

In his state, the last thing he would do is to talk to Title right now, baka hindi niya mapigilan and he'll cry in front of the other at masabi ang mga bagay na hindi dapat. But what will happen if no one of them will man up and took the courage to start the topic people are so scared to talk about? 

Why is it so hard for people to talk about love nga ba? Because it becomes so mainstream, ang daming gustong subukan pero takot kapag iniharap na. So many people cheats, and being cheated on, so many people are taken for granted, and so many of them are "ghosted". Takot na ang iba na pag-usapan pa, kasi parang nagiging laro na lang ang pag-ibig sa karamihan. It's so hard to find that love. The sincere one all of us are craving for.

And Gun is one of that people who are scared. Scared that his feelings will not be reciprocated. Scared na baka napapaasa lang pala siya sa gestures ng binata. That, all of that was just being generous. Tangina naman kung ganoon nga, someone will kiss you on your forehead multiple times kasi lang nagmamagandang loob? What was that? 

He was startled when his phone buzz, and there Title on his little habit again, he always call every night, still, checking on Gun, they were just talking about the same thing. And Gun will not lie, he enjoys every single bit of it. 

Gusto niyang magdabog. 

"Huwag ngayon please..." he whispered and just stared at his phone. Naiiyak siya lalo sa hindi niya malamang dahilan. Yung iyak na hindi mapigilan, yung kahit anong gawin niya tuloy-tuloy yung luha niya and when he hears Title's voice, he's sure, he'll breakdown even more. 

"Tangina naman. Bakit ganito." He whispers, nang matapos ang telepono niya sa pagtunog nakahinga siya nang maluwag. But then again it lights up, showing Title's name. He has no choice but to answer.

"Gun?" Bungad ni Title and Gun looks up, pinipigilan ulit ang luhang wala yatang balak huminto. He didn't answer.

"Are you asleep?" He then again, didn't answer but he accidentally let out a gasp. "You're there I can hear you." This time Gun let out a shaky breath. 

"What's wrong?" Title asked pero hindi siya umiimik. "Bat ka umiiyak?" he stay silent. 

"..."

"Gun I swear—" 

"T-Tle." Gun stuttered. 

"Hmm?" 

"Can you tell me..." There's a long pause as he gathers all of his breath and strength at the same time. 

"Gun, anong problema?" Title's voice is so firm yet full of concern.

"I— I don't think... I don't think I c-can tell you." Gun's sobs echoes through Title's ear. 

"Tell me." Title can literally jump out of his window and run the way to Gun's home right now. But he stays calm. 

"..." 

"Gun... calm down." He can hear the rustles on Title's place, he even heard Title getting his car keys.

"No! Please! The last thing I want you to do is to go here, please no." Gun said under his breath. He literally can't see Title right now. 

"Then tell me what's wrong." Title said softly. 

"..."

"If you're still going to stay silent hindi ako magdadalawang isip na pumunta diya—" 

"Ano tayo?" Gun cutted him off. Asking the most craziest question he didn't know he can said out loud.

"..." 

"Now you're the one who can't say a single thing." The silent is making Gun feel so heavy. He inhales, okay. That's it.

"You're making me fall for you..." Gun confessed, it's that hard for him to do this. 

"Now tell me what are those gestures para alam ko kung kailan hihinto." Gun said, wiping his tears. Kahit alam niyang hindi na niya kayag huminto pa.

"..." 

"Hindi ko alam na ganoon na pala yung dating n'on sa'yo." Gun's voice shakes even more. 

"..." 

"..." 

"Gusto kita."  
"Sorry." 

They said at the same exact time. Sinasabi na nga ba. Gun should've not did this. Wrong move. Gun smiles to himself.

"Isipin mo hindi ‘to nangyari, I'll hang up now. Bye. Good night." Gun said and immediately ends the call. He throws his phone away from him and lay on his bed, clutch on his pillows as he cry. 

He never thought of crying because he found out he is in love. 

He never thought getting his first heartbreak the same day he admit to himself he love that special someone. 

Now, he maybe- no. He literally ruined the friendship he treasures a lot. Hoping it will never affect the bond— and their band.


	6. 45.

Title wasn't sure what to react. Hindi kasi si Gun yung tipong ganoon. And he knows he made him like that, feels like he brings out the inner beast inside Gun that he's been hiding for so long. He sighed before entering the headquarters. Because that what he needs right now. Ang makakausap. 

Dahan-dahan niyang binuksan ang pinto, dahilan para mapalingon 'yung dalawa sa kanya. He smiled timidly before going straight to his instrument. Tahimik lang niyang kinakalabit ang mga strings when he felt a small tap on his shoulder. 

"Nagtext si Gun. He was asking where are you. And kung makita ka namin iparating naming he's sorry." Plan said, making Title to let out a heavy sigh. 

"Ano bang nangyari?" Plan asked, at umupo sa tabi ng nakababata. 

"Pumunta ako sa kanila. Found out he is not that sick, masama lang pakiramdam, and I feel like he's lying." Title sighed again for the nth time bago siya magpatuloy sa pagsasalita. He looks down at his guitar and caressed the sides of it.

"And he is. Kasi gusto niya lang iwasan ako." Plan's forehead creased. "He confessed." Title added. Nag-aalangan siya, kasi baka mas lalong magalit si Gun sa kanya kapag sinabi niya sa tropa. But he needs a piece of advices and small talks from Plan, so he sets aside his overthinking and proceed on what he is saying. 

"He said he likes me, dati pa. He was trying to forget the feeling, because he doesn't want to ruin everything, Plan. But then I suddenly loosened up to him, naging comfortable ako sa feeling na kasama siya, hindi ko naman alam na aabot sa ganon- o may ganoon na pala." Binaba ni Title ang gitara at isinandal sa pader. 

"I know. He told me about that. At hindi ko alam na aamin siya— but he told me his what ifs, that paano kung gusto mo siya? Umasa siya, Tle." Title brushed his hair upwards and bit his lips. 

"Umasa ba siya sa wala?" Plan asked, and he gets Title's silence instead.   
"Tell me, ano bang nararamdaman mo kapag kasama mo siya?" Title suddenly looks up to him and thinks. There's actually a lot. But he chose to answer what he thinks is suitable in the situation.

He was silent at first, hindi mapakali ang binti, his feet keeps on bouncing, that part kapag sobrang kabado mo, that. He closed his eyes before speaking. 

"Masaya naman ako kapag kasama siya. Hindi ba puwedeng sapat na 'yun? Sapat na muna 'yon?" Title confessed too. If Gun was here, that person will definitely be happy, kasi ayan na eh, a small assurance. Kahit kakaunti, magiging panatag na siya. 

Plan let out a sigh and smiled. "Ano plano mo?" Plan asked. Making Title to look at him. 

"May kailangan lang muna akong sabihin sa kanyang importante." Napakunot muli ang noo ni Plan pero hahayaan na lang na muna niya ang binata sa binabalak niyang gawin. Plan smiled and tapped Title's shoulder again. 

"I trust you with this one. Just make sure to choose your happiness. Kung saan kayo parehong mas magiging masaya, doon ako." Title smiled at that. He bring down his instrument and went outside to call Gun. 

"Title. Look I'm sorry about earlier—" 

"I'll let you rest for days, babalik ako diyan after three days maybe? Let's meet. I have something to tell you, please?" 

"..."

"Gun." 

"O-okay." 

"Thank you. Please rest a lot." Title said before hanging up. That's it. He sighed again...

Kaya niya ba? 

— After 3 days!

Dali-daling bumaba si Gun ng hagdan, tatlong araw lang na hindi nakita, ganoon na agad reaksyon niya nang malamang nasa labas si Title. Akala niya rin matapos niyang umiyak, tatanggapin na niyang; wala talaga. Wala lang lahat nang ‘to. Pero deep inside him, pilit niyang kinukumbinsi ang sarili na baka mayroon. Kahit kaunti. kahit 1/4 lang nang kayang ibigay ni Title. Okay na sa kanya ‘yun.

Pagkabukas niya ng pinto, ngiti agad ni Title ang bumungad sa kaniya. 'Yang nakakasilaw na ngiting ‘yan. ‘Yang mga matang sumasabay sa pag-angat ng mga labi. Nakakabihag, nakakalambot ng puso. Ayan na naman siya, wala eh. Kahit pigilan niya, sa simpleng bagay nahuhulog agad siya.

He timidly smiled back. "Pasok ka muna, maliligo lang ako." Sabi niya at niluwagan ang bukas ng pinto. Huminga siya nang malalim bago sumunod kay Title, pinipigilan niyang tumulo ulit ang mga luha, dahil sa simulang pumatak ang isa, tuloy-tuloy na iyon- nakakatakot na baka hindi na naman niya mapigilan pa. 

Umakyat siya sa kwarto niya't sumandal sa pinto bago napapikit.  
"Bakit pakiramdam ko huli na ‘to..." Napakagat siya sa pangibabang labi.   
"G-Gun naman..." sabi niya, saka marahas na pinunasan ang mga luha.   
"Walang kayo." napatawa siya nang bahagya pero masakit pakinggan. Akala niya tapos na siya sa phase na ‘to eh. Akala niya natanggap na niya nang buo. Pero ang hirap pa rin pala talaga kapag sa taong ‘yon mo lang naramdaman yung pagmamahal na hindi kayang ibigay ng iba. 

Mabilis niyang kinalma ang sarili bago nagpatuloy sa lahat ng dapat niyang gawin at ayusin bago umalis. 

—


End file.
